Time and Again
by KayKayeLLe
Summary: [COMPLETED] Not everything in life comes easily. A Mary and Wilson story, what else?
1. Promises Are Meant to Last

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated in any way with 7th Heaven, the Camdens, Mary, Wilson, Billy, GlenOak, any of that mumbo jumbo. Anything you recognize belongs undoubtedly to Brenda and Co.**

A/N: Muah ha ha new story time! Who: Mary and Wilson. // What: Well, the topic of this story is featured at the end of this chapter. I guess you'll just have to read through it. Shucks. // When: Season 8 // Where: GlenOak // How: Mary and Wilson are married. Billy is there, too. And just for merit, Lucy and Kevin are married, too. They'll be here later. There's no Carlos and Ben has been banished to Siberia, never again to interfere with my couple.

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Time and Again 

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Wilson walked through the door one night after work, anxious to get home to his wife. She'd been acting a little strange all week, but now it was Friday. He would have all weekend to figure out what she was up to. By the time the door closed behind him, Mary was before him.

She leaned up and kissed his lips, pressing firmly against him. His arms wrapped around her back and brought her closer. Mary leaned her head onto his shoulder and sighed quietly. Wilson knew that she wasn't up to something, but something was wrong. Over the past year, he had come to recognize the signs. Mary kissed him differently when she was sad- like she was trying to melt into him to escape everything. And the way she clung to him conveyed her forlorn emotions.

Wilson pulled Mary away from him and held her by her shoulders. "So, how long is it going to take for you to tell me what's up?"

"Well, probably a long time if you are going to approach it like that," she retorted.

"Hey sweetie, come on. I'm on your side here."

"Fine," she conceded. "Maybe you are, but someone up there isn't," she said pointing up toward the ceiling.

Wilson looked at Mary as if she was crazy. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," she said quietly and ran up the stairs of the house and into the bedroom that they both shared.

Wilson went to race up the stairs after her before she locked herself in the bedroom like she had done so many times before, but Billy got in his way. 

"How was work Dad?"

"Fine," Wilson answered hurriedly and lunged toward the stairs. 

Before he could get anywhere, though, Billy put his hand on his father's chest to stop him. "Do you think that if you go up there she is actually going to talk to you? You'll only end up making it worse. Trust me- at least wait until after dinner."

Wilson smiled down at Billy and patted the top of his head. It was hard to believe that Billy was eight. Most of the time it was because he was growing up so fast, and the rest was because the things that came out of his mouth were not of what the average eight year old would be saying. "You're really smart, you know that?"

"I get it from you," Billy said proudly.

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Wilson put Billy to bed at nine o'clock and then ventured into his own bedroom. He and Mary hadn't spoken since dinnertime, and their words there could only be considered small talk at best. Mary was sitting on the bed looking at a magazine. Wilson sat down next to her, but she refused to look up. He was going to have to make the first move.

"What are you reading?"

"An article about how to apply blush."

"Sounds…um, interesting," he said sounding unenthused. "Look, can we talk?"

"What about?" she asked, not alluding to anything.

"About why you are acting like this. I'm not stupid; I know something is bothering you. You're not that hard to figure out Mare."

"I never said you were stupid," she said, refusing to give him the time of day.

Wilson reached over and gently pulled the magazine fro his hands. He closed it and placed it on the bed between them. With the magazine out of the ay, he could see what was slightly hidden before. She was crying. Wilson grabbed Mary's face in his hand and rubbed her thumbs over the apples of cheeks. She closed her eyes and tried to turn her head out of his grasp.

"Don't. Stop touching me." Wilson didn't move his hands. "Get off of me," she continued quietly. "This is all your fault." Finally she pulled his hands away from her and scooted to the edge of the bed and away from him. "If you didn't touch me all the time, if you didn't kiss me like that, if you didn't make me-"

"What are you talking about?" Wilson questioned.

Mary's eyes darted down on to the bed and then up to Wilson's eyes. She laughed nervously as tears returned to her eyes and she picked up Wilson's hands. "I went to the doctor's today. I'm pregnant again."

Wilson dropped Mary's hands and embraced her tightly. She leaned her forehead onto his shoulder and sobbed into his shirt. Wilson held Mary more securely than he had in a while and they were closer than they had been all week.

"It's going to be OK this time. It will. I promise Mary."

"You can't promise me that," she said to him. "You- you can't promise Billy that again. You can't promise my family that they'll have their first grandchild. You don't know that for sure. And let me tell you, you're betting against the odds."

He sighed heavily. "I don't care. I'm not a huge fan of pessimism."

"You haven't even given him a fair chance. He's pretty OK once you get to know him. Kind of a downer tough- total buzz kill."

Wilson rolled his eyes at Mary and kissed her forehead. She could be a strange woman sometimes, but she was _his_ strange woman. Besides, with everything she had had to endure in the past year, she had every right to a little metal instability. That, and just about sympathy from everyone else in the planet, was owed to her. All she needed was the child that she had been pining over for such a long while, and she'd be all set. Here's to little miracles.

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A/N: So, whatcha think? Of course, I did nothing all weekend and I am still publishing this thing at 10:15 at night. I could have worked on it for two days and a night, but of course I am not smart enough to do that. ::shakes head:: Well, you'll be happy to know that I know where I am going with this. Everything is always better when you have a plan. I have no ending though, but that will come with time. 

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More info will come with time, too. Review and eventually you'll find out the rest of it.


	2. Nothing More Than Memories

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Wilson awoke the next morning and rolled over to face the clock. It was nearly 10:00 on the Saturday morning, and that startled him. He had never been a late sleeper. The events of the previous day came rushing back to him n an instant, though, and he rolled to look at Mary.  She appeared to be sleeping as soundly as ever. She had one leg out from underneath the blankets, one hand above her head, and the other thrust underneath the pillows supporting her head. She was definitely dead asleep.

Wilson crawled out of bed quietly and went to go check on Billy. Much like his father, he was an early riser as well. Hearing no noise in the house, Wilson figured Billy was still in his bedroom. Wilson opened the door and saw him sitting on his bed reading a children's chapter book.

"Good morning Dad," Billy said happily.

"'Morning son. Reading are we?" Wilson was shocked to find Billy sitting in front of a book rather in front of a television.

"I have a book report do next week. Only seven more chapters to go!" he announced proudly.

"Good. I'm very proud of you. You're such a hard worker. Will you do me a favor, though?" Billy's eyes perked up at the beginning of his father's request. "Would you mind reading quietly for another hour? Mom's still asleep."

"OK Dad."

Wilson thanked his son and ducked out of his bedroom. He went back into his own room and got back into his bed just as swiftly as he had gotten out in the first place. Before placing his head back down on the pillow for a period of deep thought, he leaned over and kissed the top of Mary's head lightly. She didn't budge. She obviously wasn't lying; she never slept like this unless if she was pregnant. He could be confident of that statement because he knew from experience- too much experience in fact. Wilson's mind quickly wandered back to Mary's two previous pregnancies, if you could call them that. He knew that Mary wouldn't have coined that term regarding those times. 

The first time that Mary was pregnant, everything was happy. Wilson could remember fondly how he and Mary had told her parents and the rest of the family that they were pregnant. Everyone was so excited for them, almost more excited than Mary and Wilson had been themselves. The pregnancy wasn't exactly what they had wanted when they'd wanted it, but they were ecstatic nonetheless. Having a baby had jumped to the top of their list of priorities in life.

The two of them had gotten really into the whole experience, too. They kept a mental list of baby names that they liked, began to think of what life would be as a foursome, and spent many a night with their hands on Mary's still flat stomach falling asleep. Mary's family had a similar reaction. This was the first of the Camden children to be expecting, and they couldn't have been happier.

But as quickly as their excitement came, it was all replaced with sadness. Wilson remembered that night clearly. It was one of the worst nights of Wilson's life to date.

Wilson walked through the door that night, but the house was calm and still. Usually, he was welcomed home to bustle around him from his wife and son. Tonight, nothing. Wilson slipped off his jacket and walked into the family room, seeing the glow of the television set against the white wall opposite it. Billy was sitting quietly tuned into one of the many children's networks on the new TV channel package they had subscribed to when they moved into their modest sized house.

_"Hey Billy. Where's Mom?"_

_Billy sighed. "She's in the bedroom. Something happened. I don't know what but she's really sad. I haven't even seen her since I got home from school."_

_Thinking this was odd, Wilson walked upstairs and into the master bedroom. Mary sat in the middle of the king sized mattress with a blanket draped over her legs and the contents of an entire box of tissues placed around her. The room was dark, except for the faint light filtering in through the bay window on the other side of the room. It hadn't looked like Mary had moved in hours, and from what Billy said she probably hadn't._

_"Mare?" he questioned cautiously._

_"Wilson?"_

_He flipped on the light and as soon as he did Mary buried her face into her hands. She didn't want Wilson to see that she had been sobbing. Ti was too late, though, he had already seen her. Wilson sat on the bed next to Mary and placed his hands on her waist. He studied her face for a second before speaking. He couldn't possibly imagine what would make her be like this._

_"What's wrong? What happened?" She didn't answer him, but a few tears rolled down her cheeks. He thought for a second. "Wait…did something happen at your doctor's appointment?" he asked getting a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Are you OK?"_

_Mary shook her head furiously. "I-I'm fine, but the baby is not." He squeezed her hands. "I…I can't even say it." More tears fell._

_"Mare, whatever it is. I'm going to be here for you."_

_"I had a miscarriage," she said quietly._

_Wilson stared at her, until he realized he was doing it. Then he cleared his throat and spoke. "Don't you…I-I don't understand."_

_She knew what he was talking about. She had had the same question. "It's called a missed miscarriage. There are no symptoms or anything- you kind of have to be diagnosed with it. It's kind of like you just stop being pregnant."_

That was number one. Mary was so upset that she barely spoke for days. All Wilson remembered was how sad that she was, and how she clung to him for the longest time. They grew much closer during the two months that followed that. That intimacy level in their relationship was advantageous for the next phase of their story. They decided to try to get pregnant again. It was what they both wanted.

After four months of trying, scheduling in three times a week to do so, they were lucky enough to get pregnant again. Wilson was thrilled and so was Mary, but not as thrilled as she should have been. Her joy was lined with fear- fear of losing a child for the second time. She didn't think that she could deal with the heartbreak again and Wilson knew that her mind was set that way. That in itself was not a good place for her to be mentally.

_At work, Wilson's phone on his desk rang. After two rings, he answered it. "Wilson West."_

_"Mr. West? This is Barbara from GlenOak Hospital. You're wife is here and I was asked to notify you."_

_"Is she OK?"_

_"I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that you were asked to come down here and it has something to do with her pregnancy."_

_"I'll be right there, thank you." _

Wilson hung up the phone and looked at his watch. 2:45- Billy would be home from school soon. After a quick call to the Camdens to ask them to watch Billy, he rushed out of the door and over to the hospital. Once he arrived, he found out where Mary was located and rushed to her side. He opened the door and found Mary laying in a hospital bed and a doctor next to her.

_"Husband?" the woman asked. Wilson just nodded. "Come outside. We can talk for a moment."_

_The nice doctor explained to Wilson that Mary had had yet another miscarriage. The cause of this one, like the last one, had been unknown. Mary had started bleeding so she called her doctor and she suggested that Mary bring herself down to the emergency room. Nothing can be done to reverse a miscarriage, but what they did do was give Mary medication to drain her uterus. The medication, however, usually had bad side effects like cramping, nausea, and vomiting could occur, so Mary had to stay overnight for observation. It was bad before emotionally, but this time it had crossed over to the physical realm._

The final image that always remained with Wilson when he remembered any of the goings on was the look on Mary's face that night she had spent in the hospital. It had broken his heart into thousands of pieces- so many in fact that after nearly six months it had still not fully healed. He could fully recall Mary opening her eyes around 11:30 at night, and turning her head to look over at Wilson. Her eyes opened up to her soul and for the first time since he had met Mary, Wilson had fully understood her. She wanted a baby- her baby, his baby, _their_ baby, and she couldn't understand what she had done to have it continuously taken away from her the way it had. He also saw all of her sadness and the pain that she had harbored since the first miscarriage had happened.

That was the way Wilson saw Mary half of the time he looked at her, and that was the way she was perceived that morning. That image had haunted Wilson for so long because he knew no matter what he did there was noting he could do to fix it. Holding her hand all day wouldn't be enough. Clutching Mary tightly at night wouldn't be enough. Kissing her pouted lips wouldn't be enough. Nothing would ever be enough to erase all of her pain.

In a small attempt to comfort her, Wilson reached out and ran his hand over her cheek. Her eyes fluttered opened and she sighed when she saw him.

"Morning already?"

He smiled slightly. "Yup."

She rolled onto her side, facing him, and closed her eyes without falling asleep. "What are you thinking about?" she asked after realizing he had been up for a while.

"Are you going to be OK? Are you going to be able to handle this?" he blurted out without really thinking, or answering her question.

"I really hope so," she replied. "You have to conquer your fears, you know?"

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, grazing the back of her hand lightly. "I know."

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A/N: I liked this chapter. Not exactly as much detail as I wanted but I think it is enough. I hope you get everything I was trying to say. Oh yeah, I am no medical expert, but I did research for this. WebMD is your friend!

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That's good, good. Now give me a pouty look. Yes, yes. Review and I'll put your picture on the cover of the next Depressed Monthly. Mary's been on the front for way too long.

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	3. Scaredy Cat

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A little later in the day, Mary and Wilson sat facing each other. Mary was seated on their couch and Wilson was on top of their glass coffee table. They had been looking at each other for over an hour, but no one has said anything in over forty-five minutes. There were no words to describe their feelings. Actually, there were no words to describe _Mary's_ feelings. Wilson had thought of tons to say, but he didn't want to upset her, so he remained quiet until she was ready to talk.

He moved his gaze away from her eyes for a moment and looked down at the floor. He started to space out as he contemplated his feelings on the situation. As a reflex, Wilson reached out and put his hands atop her kneecaps. He realized instantly what he had done and looked up at her, afraid of what her reaction might be.

"I hate when you sit in that thing," she commented. "It's glass and glass tends to break from time to time. I don't want you to get hurt." 

He moved off of the table and sat down next to Mary, careful not to sit too close and invade her space. "If it were going to break, I think it would have broken by now," he said as he took his place on the dark green chenille cushion.

"You don't know that," she responded shortly.

Mary purposefully turned her head away from his and kept her mouth shut. She didn't want to come off looking more emotional than her husband already must have perceived her as being. 

"So…" Wilson said.

"You know, this is pressure. I don't want to be pressured." After she said it, she wished she hadn't. Now they were going to end up talking, she knew it. The subject was now unavoidable.

"I…I didn't mean to pressure you Mare." He placed his hand on her thigh. "I just want to talk about this. I mean…"

"Fine, I'm scared and I don't' know if I want this." Her tone was bitter, much more than usual. "I want a baby, but I don't think we're going to get a baby. I don't want to be pregnant again."

"But I asked you and you said you still wanted to try. I didn't force you into-"

"I never said that you did." She sighed and her tone lightened. "I guess I just never really thought I would get pregnant again. I don't know why."

The phone rang, but neither of them made any sort of attempt to answer it. They didn't want to leave the beginnings of a very intense conversation. After four rings, the phone was silenced. Billy walked into the room a few moments later. He handed the phone to Mary and reluctantly she answered.

"Hello? Hey Mom. Yeah, hold on." She covered the receiver and turned toward Billy who was still standing next to her. "Do you want to go over and play with Sam and David today?" He nodded his heed vigorously and Mary relayed the message to her mother. She told her that they would be over in a bout twenty minutes. Satisfied with the outcome of the venture out of his bedroom, Billy went back to gather up some toys to bring.

Wilson looked at Mary and raised his eyebrows at her. "I want to tell them," she said "There's no real use in hiding it."

"But what about Billy?" he questioned.

"We can tell him later. I just…I really want to tell my parents." Both her body and her voice were rigid. She waited for Wilson to nod and then stood.

As she did, Wilson did the same. He placed his hands on her hips and moved his face closer to hers. "Truce?" She nodded and leaned up to kiss him. It felt so good to have her close to him like that. Maybe that was why they were pregnant for the third time.

Billy scamper off with Mary's youngest siblings and Wilson, Annie, and Mary entered the kitchen. They all took a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. The house was unusually quite today, and that in itself added to the drama of the moment. 

Annie stared at the couple peculiarly, and then decided to speak. "Um, your father's not here. There's a vestry meeting today. And when that's over he has to go visit some couple, and then there's some marriage counseling. Everyone else is out besides Sam and David. It's kind of lonely actually."

Mary looked at Wilson, who cocked his head as if to ask her if she still wanted to tell her mother. She nodded and Wilson grabbed her hand, squeezing gently. "Mom, we have something to tell you. I would have liked for Dad to be here but I'm not really in the mood to wait around for him." Annie waited with bated breath for Mary to continue. Before she did, she looked into Wilson's eyes. They felt so safe that she could get lost in them forever. He squeezed her hand, though, and pulled her back to reality. "We're pregnant again," she blurted out a little faster than she would have liked.

Annie face went fro concerned, to excited, then scared, before finally settling on overall happiness. "Congratulations." No one said anything. "Are you OK with this?"

"I will be. He'll help me," Mary said referring to Wilson. "And I guess whatever happens happens. It's beyond our control now."

Wilson put his arm around Mary and pulled her in tightly to him. He was well aware of how much this was hurting her, and he'd do anything to ease just the slightest bit of her pain. Tonight, he thought as she leaned into his touch, is going to be a long night.

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A/N: Short, I know. But, to be honest, I just wrote this so that I would have something to update. This is kind of the "blurry" part of my story. Next will either be some mindless garbage or more of the meat of the story. Not sure which. If I decide on the meat stuff, I already have that chapter written, so it'll be up soon.

I hate this chapter. It's short and bad. Oh, and boring. Bleck.

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Real of fake congratulations aside, Mary is still pregnant. Review and tell me your Good Luck lines. 

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	4. Faster, Harder

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A/N: This is, um, let's go with **5 weeks later**. Yeah, that sounds good. And I don't know if I said this before, but this is Season 8ish. That should help clear some stuff up.

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Mary and Wilson entered the Camden house through the front door drained and sad. They wouldn't have even come, but Lucy had begged them to come over for dinner and part of each of them wanted to get out of the house. They could use a break from just sitting in their house staring at one another while Billy sat quietly in another room doing something. That's what they had been doing for days on end following another short gestation period, and that was quickly becoming monotonous as well as tiring.

Eric opened the door and Mary put on her bravest face, as did Wilson. They decided they weren't telling anyone yet. Mary wasn't ready and, quite frankly, neither was Wilson. The other times everyone had made such a big deal over it. Tonight was just to be about dinner and family- nothing more and nothing less.

Standing behind Eric as the trio stepped inside were Sam and David. Billy ran off to play with them upstairs in the twins' bedroom. Mary and Wilson both smiled as they watched the young boys go. It had been wonderful how well they got along with one another. They had a big brother-little brother relationship, although Sam and David were technically Billy's uncles.

Wilson put his hand on Mary's back and guided her into the kitchen. He could feel her emotional resistance as they walked toward the room. You never knew who was in the kitchen, or who could be watching you in the kitchen. Mary wasn't in the mood to be picked apart by anyone just yet. 

Tonight, the room was full. Annie was in there with Lucy preparing dinner. Simon and Martin sat glaring at each other on the kitchen table. Since he had come back to school, Simon had grown to hate Martin for stealing his girlfriend and his place in the family. The two of them reminded everyone so much of Matt and Robbie it was sickening- déjà vu was such an exceptionally weird phenomenon. 

"Hey Mom, want help with dinner?" Mary spoke up before anyone had a chance to see her and dissect her facial expressions. Wilson turned his head toward hers, surprised by her audacity in this somber time. For a moment he was pleased, but he quickly recanted that choice. This wasn't good at all. He knew that pretty soon, Mary would end up erupting- either at him or at someone in her family and Wilson would be left to clean up the mess. 

"Hi Mary," Lucy said happily. She certainly was in a good mood.

"Hey," Mary said back meekly.

"I would love some help," Annie finally responded to her question. "There's a chicken in the oven. Would you mind pulling it out and slicing it up for me?"

"No problem," she said and made a lunge for the oven mitts. Wilson stopped her though. He squeezed her hand and she ceased movement to squeeze back. Using her free hand, she peeled Wilson off of her and she went to the chicken like her mother had asked.

Defeated, Wilson went sat at the kitchen table. Remembering his manners, he spoke up. "Anything I can do?"

"No, I think we've got it covered. But if Simon could set the table…" Annie's voice trailed off as she looked at her son.

"I've got it," Martin spoke and as fast as you could say "silverware" he was off into the kitchen.

"Whatever, I don't want to do chores anyway," Simon mumbled under her breath in response to Martin's actions. He noticed Wilson staring at him and stopped talking to himself immediately. "Hi Wilson."

"Hi Simon. How's everything going?"

Simon sighed. "Fine, fine. Just happy to be back, even if I have been replaced."

"You haven't been replaced," Wilson said, trying his hand at the same thing everyone had dabbled in for about three weeks. "I mean, if they wanted to replace you they could have done a much better job. Martin doesn't look anything like you, sound anything like you, or act like you at all. If anyone could replace you, I'd say it'd be Sam."

Mary smiled at her husband's kind and slightly humorous words. "Simon, it's hard when you go away for a while and then you come back. Believe me, I know." Mary gestured toward Wilson. "I have him to thank for that." Wilson feigned hurt and Mary continued. "Just hang in there and it'll get better."

"When you came back, didn't you get into a fist fight with Lucy?"

"Not _a_ first fight, _two_ fist fights," Lucy chimed in as she finished with the salad. "But that's OK, I held my own."

Mary carved around the bone in the chicken. "Sure you did."

Forty-five minutes later, they were all eating. It would have only been a half hour, but Lucy insisted that they wait for Kevin to get home from work. They all thought this was kind of strange, but didn't pay much attention to the fact. Lucy always acted weird. As soon as he arrived, Lucy allowed everyone to chow down. Mary, who was seated between her husband and Billy, was the most thankful for this. She knew that while they ate she would have time to get lost in her plate and not feel like all eyes were on her, even if that was only for a few minutes. 

Ruthie watched Mary and Wilson as they ate their meals. Wilson was eating with his left hand and Mary was eating with her right. Ruthie knew for a fact that Wilson was right handed, so it would be very unnatural for him to eat with his left hand. Being left handed herself, she honed in on these things more than the average person. Wilson's right hand must have been tied up with someone else while he was eating. Presumably so, he was probably engaged in touching some part of Mary's body. 

Wilson's right hand was, in fact, underneath the table clutching to Mary's left one. She squeezed his hand back as her tension started to build back up. She held onto him so hard that her knuckles were turning white. They both were terrified of letting go and leaving one or the other vulnerable to family attacks. 

After they all finished with their meal, the family congregated in the kitchen. Before they all went to leave, Lucy and Kevin made them all stay put for a minute longer. They had an announcement to make. The clan quieted down and Wilson made his way over to Mary's side. Once everyone was settled for the moment, Lucy spoke.

"Kevin and I…we're…" she looked up at Kevin with tears in her eyes, then back over at the Camdens. "We're going to have a baby."

Gasps and excitement spread through the room like wildfire. Everyone talked at once; Mary and Wilson remained quiet and still. The hustle and bustle went on around them and no one seemed to notice their immediate change in dispositions. 

Annie made her way over to Lucy and hugged her tight. "Oh this is wonderful!" she said loudly. "Both of my girls are pregnant at the same time! Who would have thought?"

Mary's heart stopped beating and she felt the walls closing in around her. She had to get out of there. Eric, the only thing between Mary and the back door of the kitchen, moved closer to Lucy and away from the exit. Mary saw and opportunity and bolted. 

"Excuse me," she said quietly as she released Wilson's hand and ran out the door. 

The room went silent and everyone turned to Wilson. None of them were stupid; they all knew what had just happened and what was going on. Wilson floundered under the prying gazes of eleven people and did exactly what Mary did, run. He, however, did it in a much more sophisticated manner. "Congratulations Lucy, Kevin," he said in a low and solemn voice. "I, uh, I…" he didn't finish his sentence but left all the same.

As the door closed behind Wilson, Lucy leaned her head on Kevin's strong shoulder. She shouldn't have told her big news this way. If only she had known, or even suspected. At the same trice, everyone thought the same thing. Mary did look odd when she came in, but no one had noticed it. No one questioned her. They had accepted her sadness as part of her being and many a time would disregard it altogether. Isolating Mary, yet again, was the worst thing they had done as a family all year. This mistake would undoubtedly be hard to fix.

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A/N: Not to toot my own horn too much, but I absolutely adore this chapter. I wish I could write a whole story of chapters like this one. This is exactly what this story was supposed to be all about. However, it didn't flow _at all_ from the last one. Sorry about that. I would have put something in between this chapter and last, but I was eager to get this up and I had no idea what to put there. 

And for all of you who are going "Aw, I didn't want her to have another miscarriage," just…wait.

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Next chap is going to be Mary/Wilson convo.

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Reviews have the uncanny power to make everything better. Just like Wilson. 

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	5. You're Not the Only One

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Wilson walked out of the back door in search of Mary. He didn't have to go far. She was lying on the picnic table a few feet in front of the house. Her smiled at her beauty- her brown her cascading over the side of the table, her hazel eyes purposefully looking away from him, the tiny area of skin showing wear her shirt didn't quite meet her pants in the back- but sighed at her pain. Each time this happened, it was harder and harder to console Mary. He was running out of ideas to make her feel better.

Cautiously, he approached the table. Seeing no real apprehension from his wife, Wilson went to sit. Mary instinctively sat up a little bit then placed her head in Wilson's lap once he was seated. She stared up at his face and the dark sky next to it. She wanted to be the sky. The sky was quiet, lonely but never really alone, and never showed any emotion. Since she had lost her first baby, that was all Mary aspired to, the likes of the sky.

They sat for twenty minutes in silence. Neither one of them knew what they should be saying. Wilson put his hand atop Mary's collarbone in attempts to reach out to her. She moved his hand slightly so that it was over her heart, and then placed her own hand on top of his. He could feel her steady heartbeat; she seemed to be all right.

Three more minutes past and she sat up. This time, her head leaned against his shoulder. Wilson bent down and kissed the top of her head as Mary went to wipe her eyes.

"Are you crying?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'm trying not to, anyway." She sniveled. "This is all Lucy's fault. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have had to run out of there. I just could have told them and I would have been able to stick around without giving them a chance to make their comments about me." She paused. "I bet they all feel bad for me. I bet Lucy is wining about how everything is her fault, and they're all just sitting around staring at each other in there."

She was right, but Wilson didn't want to talk about her family. "I feel sorry for you," he admitted. "And it feels wrong to feel sorry for you, but I do."

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me. I just...I get really scared. I always get really scared. It's hard to calm down from something like that." He caressed her back as if coaxing her to explain. "You wouldn't understand."

He squeezed her in tighter. "You think that I don't understand about being scared?"

Mary looked up into his eyes. She saw the slight hurt there, but nodded anyway. "I've been scared for years. I can't even remember a time when I went through a day when I wasn't scared. Since I became a single dad, that's all I've known. Before that even. When Billy's mother was in labor. I was scared then, and after that I was scared that I couldn't provide for Billy, and then I fell in love with you."

"That made you scared?"

"I was always scared that you wouldn't love me back." Her face drooped. "I know that you love me, but there was always that little bit of doubt. Not so much anymore, but before. And then we got married and you got pregnant..." Tears formed in his eyes and he stopped speaking.

"What?" she questioned slowly.

"I was so scared something would happen to you. I didn't sleep for days, weeks. And then when you lost the baby, and I stayed awake at night with you, it wasn't because I was staying up with you. I couldn't sleep either. I was petrified."

Mary squeezed his hand. "I didn't know that you get this scared."

"It's not important. Just…don't assume that I have no idea what you are going through all the time." He kissed her forehead. "And I want you to use me. Talk to me. I hate it when you pull away like this."

Mary nodded sullenly. She knew that she had been distant for the past few days, but that was just her way of coping with everything. It was all so hard on her. Apparently, though, Wilson wasn't having it any easier. They sat in silence for another hour as Wilson' squeezed Mary in tightly, hoping to erase all of her pain and his own. He wasn't having any luck on either front.

Kevin walked out the back door a little while later and over to them. "I was set out to apologize," he said, "but that doesn't seem quite right. At any rate, I'm sorry. Are you guys OK? We didn't mean to-"

"I know," Mary said cutting him off.

He nodded. "Everyone wants to know if they can do anything for you, myself included."

This time, Wilson spoke up. "Yeah, you can. Go inside and get Billy for us. We're going to go home. Tell everyone that we'll talk to them tomorrow or the day after."

"Sure," Kevin said and scampered off into the house.

Mary looked at Wilson and kissed his cheek lightly. "I love you." Next, she kissed his lips slightly. "I'll be in the car waiting for you guys, OK?"

Wilson agreed and Mary walked away from him. Again, she was slipping right through his fingers. As he watched her go, he was scared again. All he wanted to do was hold her and make everything in the world all right. Sadly, he knew that nothing would ever be completely OK. The trick was, he thought, dealing with that and getting through the everyday life. Once he and Mary learned how to do that, they would be set. However, that would be a difficult concept to master- like teaching an old dog new tricks.

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A/N: The whole Wilson being scared thing came from Hans the Bold. Thanks! I like the concept of this chapter but now I hate this story so I'm just wanting to put it out of its misery as soon as possible. Put me out of my misery, too- of writing a bad story and working on something my heart isn't in. Hopefully a better idea will come to be one day.

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Reviews can comfort Wilson like a childhood blanky.

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	6. Get Over Yourself

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Mary poured Lucy some tea and sat down. Lucy didn't have any school today and Mary spent her days doing housework, so it was easy for them to get together. Besides the convenience, they needed to see each other. It had been a week and a half since Lucy announced she was pregnant and the two sisters hadn't spoken since.

"So," Lucy said, "why did you have Wilson call? Why didn't you call yourself?" Mary had had Wilson call Kevin about a week ago to tell Lucy that Mary wasn't angry with her or anything like that and that she was fine. Then, she had him call again two days ago to plan the meeting.

"I just wasn't ready to talk to you. I know that you had no intentions of hurting me, but I have to admit that when you announced that I was hurt. Upset. Sad. But I'm over that…kind of."

Lucy nodded. "I understand, but I don't understand. Why couldn't you talk to me?"

"It had nothing to do with you specifically. But when you said that, I just knew that your pregnancy was going to be perfect." Tears filled in her eyes and she laughed to try and relieve some of the tension. "Mine never are. I've been pregnant three times and still no kid. And you'll probably end up having a perfect gaggle of septuplets or something. I just thought that and I couldn't see you or talk to you."

"But you don't know that. What if something does happen? I am so scared…because of everything you've been through." She looked down at the cup that her hands were wrapped around. "I don't want that to happen to me."

Mary smiled at her baby sister. "I don't want that to happen to you either. Don't be scared. Scared…well, scared isn't so much fun. Be happy." Her voice turned almost chipper. "You're having a baby!"

"I know!" Lucy said excitedly. "And that in and of itself is scary, but I won't let it get to me. Now that you're not mad at me I can just let it all go and be happy." Mary nodded at Lucy approvingly, but Lucy wasn't finished yet. "But Mare…"

"Go ahead. Ask me whatever it is you're dying to ask me. I knew it was coming."

"Are you guys still trying? Do you still want to have a baby?"

Mary took a deep breath and waited a few seconds before answering. No one ever asked her pointed questions like this, other than Wilson of course. When he talked to her, she felt comfortable, but for Lucy to ask just seemed so wrong. "We're not trying and we're not not trying. We'll deal with whatever happens. But Wilson said that if I decide that I want to start trying again, we could." Mary paused. "I still want to have a baby. I just don't think it's in my cards though, and I don't want to put him and everyone else through all that it entails when I am this certain that nothing is going to come of it."

"Have you ever considered adopting? There's bunches of kids out there waiting and needing good parents like you and Wilson. They'd love to have you," Lucy suggested.

"Adopting is sort of defeating the point. I already have Billy; I'm not childless. I want to have a baby of my own. I want to have Wilson's baby. I want us to be able to share that experience together. No matter how much of a mother I can act lie a feel like for Billy, I missed out on that part. I feel like I'm missing out on life."

Lucy nodded and tears formed in her eyes. "I don't know what to say to you Mary."

"You don't have to say anything, except maybe tell Ruthie that I'm going to be the best aunt that kid of yours has ever seen."

Lucy leaned over and hugged Mary. "I can do that."

That night, Mary and Wilson were in bed. Mary, who had kept to herself for the last week, was more open than she had been in days past. As she lay next to Wilson, she curled up to his said and placed her head in the crook of his neck. She smiled as she rubbed against him.

"You seem happy," Wilson commented. She didn't say anything, but kissed his neck lightly. "What's with you tonight?"

"What's _with_ me?" She laughed. "I'm better. I'm over it. I'm…OK now."

"Talking with Lucy really helped that much?"

"Talking with Lucy helped a lot." She smiled and kissed him passionately. "Hmm…I'm not tired." She probed his mouth with her tongue.

Wilson raised his eyebrows as if in question and Mary nodded, snuggling in closer to him. "But Mare-"

"I'm not doing it for that. I'm doing it for me." She smiled seductively. "I want you."

Wilson rolled his eyes and kissed Mary as his hands wandered down her body. This new attitude of hers wasn't all that bad. It was much better than her moping around all the time and not wanting anyone near her. From one extreme to the other- not that bad of a change as one might think.

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A/N: This chapter was weird. Kind of a filler type thing. Next chapter will probably be the last. I don't even have anything to say. I feel so ho-hum over this. Blah.

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Are you happy with this chapter? Mary's happy.

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	7. Past, Present, and Future

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A/N: **Mary lost that baby. She had a miscarriage. **Read the chaps over, it seemed clear to me. Sorry that I didn't specifically spell it out and sorry if you didn't get it.

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The whole family was gathered around in the backyard. Sam and David were putting around with their respective girlfriends. Eric and Annie were quietly bringing food into the back of the house. Simon drove down from an hour away with his wife, Cecilia. Lucy, Kevin, and their three children walked down the street and in through the back gate. After the adults, first through was nine year old Katie, then seven year old Gregory, followed by four year old Thomas- the kids always walked in age order.

Ruthie and her husband, Jeff, stood against the picnic table. They were quietly holding hands and mumbling to themselves. The couple was completely unaware that everyone around them already knew their announcement. They had called everyone over to Eric and Annie's to make a statement, and as soon as that was said everyone knew what was going on. They had been through this too many times before not to anticipate this news.

Last to arrive was Mary and Wilson. Next to Wilson, and about the height of his hip, was their five year old daughter Cammie. Mary was holding their one and a half year old Willa. Their children had been named after themselves, every bit of narcissism fully intended. Cammie was for Mary's maiden name and Willa for Wilson.

They all smiled at each other and hellos were passed around the bunch. The children quickly started up a game of soccer on the side of the tables, kicking the ball everywhere but near the imaginary net. The warm weather of the summer engulfed the group as the adults sat down for some relief. Mary, with Willa in tow, sat down in a chair next to Lucy.

"Hey Willa," Lucy said tickling her niece's stomach.

The child giggled. "Oose-ee," she said, her version of "Lucy." Lucy was like Willa's second mother; she and Mary were constantly over each other's houses and were closer than ever.

"So, are we here for what I think we're here for?" Mary asked her sister.

"I think so." She sighed. "She's too young."

Mary smiled. "No, she isn't."

"Fine…then she hasn't been married long enough. She just finished school."

"Stop making excuses to be upset. I get it. She's Ruthie, little Ruthie. But this is out of your control so let it go."

Lucy huffed and crossed her arms. "Fine." After eleven years, she had still never lost her attitude.

Willa reached for Lucy and Mary gave her to her. She got up and went over to Wilson, who was standing next to Kevin. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he turned around to see her. "Hey sweetie."

Wilson kissed her forehead. "Anything wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to be with you. Since when does that mean something's wrong?"

Wilson thought of a witty comment, but refrained from verbalizing it. Instead, he kissed her lips lightly and squeezed her in tightly. He loved her more than anything, except of course for his wonderful daughters and his son. Before he could speak, Annie came up behind Mary. Wilson motioned to Annie with his chin and Mary turned around.

"Yeah Mom?" Mary asked.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I was just wondering when Billy was coming back. We all are actually."

Mary smiled. "Next weekend. He has one more week of school left. We can't wait. I can't stand him being so far away anymore. It's killing me." Billy had gone off that year to the same college that Simon had gone to a while back. That comforted Mary a little, but she after his first year of school she still wasn't too keen on the idea of him being over two hours away from them.

Annie opened her mouth to share her motherly pain, but Eric and Simon announced that the food was done. They were all eating hamburgers and hot dogs straight from the barbeque. Everyone got their food and sat around two picnic tables pushed together.

Ruthie and Jeff stood up together. "Before you guys eat, we have an announcement to make," Ruthie began. Everyone quieted down, and Mary and Lucy smile at each other. Ruthie took a deep breath and then spoke. "I'm pregnant."

Everyone smiled and hugged Ruthie and Jeff. Mary's turn was last. She hugged Ruthie tightly, knowing that was what her sister needed. She pulled away and looked at Ruthie's face; she was crying.

"Can we talk?" Ruthie asked.

Mary nodded and the two went into the kitchen for some privacy. "So, what's up? Scared?"

"Very scared. As soon as I found out, I though about you and what happened when you were first married. I know I was young, but I still haven't forgotten. That touched all of us so much."

"I know," Mary said, "and I'm sorry that I did. I scared you, I scared Lucy, I scared Mom, and I scared all the men. I feel so bad for that."

"How'd you get over it?"

"Honestly? I gave up on trying have control over my own life. Sometimes, you're truly amongst something greater than yourself and you just have to run with that. I don't know why what happened to me happened, but I have to beautiful girls now- and kids or not I still have Wilson. Jeff is a great guy and he loves you so much Ruthie. No matter what happens, he won't be taken away from you."

More tears rolled down Ruthie's cheeks. "I know. I know you're right. But I can't help being scared."

"You'll get over that. It'll just take time." Mary hugged Ruthie. Just as she did that, the back door opened and Wilson and Jeff walked in.

"You guys OK?" Jeff asked.

Ruthie walked over to him and out the door. Wilson stayed inside and went over to Mary. She leaned her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes tightly. She kissed his neck lightly and his hands went around her waist.

"Don't tell me you upset over this," Wilson said.

"I'm not. I just feel bad that I ruined being pregnant for everyone. It should be a happy ting- it is a happy thing. Now, because of me, everyone just gets scared. That's not right."

"It's not your fault. Forget all of that. Negativity is bad. Be happy."

"I am happy. I have you, and Cammie and Willa. What else could I need?" Tears formed behind Mary's eyes but Wilson didn't see them. Even after eleven years, some days were harder than others for Mary. She tried to keep it together, and most of the time she succeeded, but sometimes she just needed Wilson to hold her and remind her of that. She could tell when she was getting more self-absorbed than normal, and quickly pulled herself out to avoid self-pity. Life hadn't been easy on Mary, but time and again she had realized how good things could be. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. After all the bad she was dealt, she was due for about three lifetimes of good.

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The End 

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A/N: It's over. Actually, I half like this story now. It wasn't as bad as I thought I guess. Yeah, feeling complacent. So what.

Cammie, Willa, and Jeff are all mine. Paws off people.

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All proceeds from reviews go to the Feed My Inbox Foundation.

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